Thursday, July 28th, 2005 | Author: mistyeiz
As I make my usual pit stop by Lilian’s blog, her post on single mum’s really caught my eye. She mentions about how ignorant she is about the usual monthly payments and even going to the ATMs to withdraw money and what got me thinking about my Mummy is that she was in that exact position some 10 years ago. Yes, I can’t believe how fast time flies and its already been a decade since Daddy passed away in 1995. I was only 16 going on 17 then. (Looks like the cat’s out of the bag!!)
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I remember it so clearly. How everything in my life changed, just like it happened yesterday. It was a hot afternoon on 14/2/1995. I was getting ready for tuition and Daddy was taking his bath and getting ready to take me to class. Suddenly, we heard a groan and stuff dropping in the bathroom! Daddy managed to open the door but he looked awful. He was pale and he was groaning in pain. We didn’t know what happened but from the looks of the mess on the floor, we figured out that he fell down. Mummy managed to get him out of the toilet and sat him on the bed. It was the first time in my 16 years of living that I saw my Daddy cry. Not because he was sad, because he was in pain and he was holding on to Mummy, sobbing. Mummy’s was trying to calm him down and I, of course panicked when she asked me to call the ambulans. Everything suddenly turn into a blur at that point, because I never dreamt that I would be in this situation and then I forgot what number to dial to get to the hospital. I just dialed 999 and got the message through. Meanwhile, Mummy was still with Daddy, comforting him – trying to get him not to exert himself. She suspected that he had a mild stroke and after the ambulance came to take him away and admitted him, we found out why.
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Daddy loves currry. Any curry – mutton curry, chicken curry, beef curry, anything curried was his favourite, his appetizer. The day before, he had attended a good friend’s daughter’s wedding and he had whacked the curries like no one’s business. He knew that he has high blood pressure and high cholesterol but he was on medication so he wasn’t too worried since we too kept a tight reign on his food intake. Thinking that it was fine to eat the amount he ate, somehow he forgot to take his medication. And boom, the next day, he had an attack. But it wasnt a direct stroke – he had burst a bubbled vein in his brain, a condition also known as brain aneurysm which THEN caused the stroke. And because of his daily workout of weight-lifting (even when he was 61 then), the risks of that happening was higher for him and was one of the minor reasons why the vein burst. Exertion.
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He was hospitalised in Kluang and then when his condition could not be handled by the doctors there, he was moved to Hospital Tun Aminah in JB. He had to undergo several surgeries and most of the time he was sedated. All this while, Mummy was with him, standing by his side and keeping him company. I don’t know if he knew it and in fact, we’ll never know but she was SO strong. She HAD to be. Not only for Daddy but also for us. I only visited him twice at the hospital, once in Kluang and the other in JB. I couldn’t believe that that helpless, haggard man lying on the bed was my father. He had lost so much weight, he had a full beard and they had shaved him bald because of the surgery – I couldn’t recognise him at all and I was upset because he looked that way. I didn’t want my Daddy to look like that. I want to remember him as tall, strong…handsome (he was always clean shaven) and to see him like that, I couldn’t take it. I can’t imagine what hell my mum went through. I think she can really relate to the saying, being to hell and back. After 33 days in the hospital, he finally gave up the fight. Mummy was there when he left. 18/3/1995 – the saddest day of my life, my Daddy left us. According to Mummy, he left us earlier, all because the stupid nurse didn’t do her job well enough. (Should have sued her but I guess we were just too distraught to think of such a thing at that time and after that, we just wanted to get on with life.)
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Because he spent all his time on his back, he had developed pneumonia and had to have the phlegm sucked out every now and then. That night, guess the nurse just wanted to sleep more than anything and did a really sloppy job after my mum called her in coz she could hear Daddy struggling to breathe. Somehow, I guess God wanted him to go back home and just took him away – just like that. He left us…struggling to breathe.
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Ever since he left us, Mummy has been EVERYTHING to me and my sis. Even as a single mum, she put me through college and gave me a luxurious allowance. (No, we are not rich but she worked that hard to give us a comforatble life.) She’s always there whenever I need her, anytime of the day, she is always there for me. She stood by me when I had to make all the important decisions in my life. She is always there to support me in all my endevours. She took up the role of father AND mother and is still doing a GREAT job at it. She’s independant, self-reliant, strong and above all, the kind of mother every child dreams of. She is my role model because of the qualities she has within her : caring, understanding, sensitive, talented, loving, funny, can be quite a cartoon sometimes too. She is a VERY strong woman and when I become a mummy one day, I wanna be just a fraction of what she is because I JUST don’t have in me to be like her. She’s truly one of a kind. Exactly how N’sync nicely puts it in ‘God must have spent a little more time on you’, “In all of creation, All things great and small, You are the one that surpasses them all, More precious than any diamond or pearl, They broke the mold, When you came in this world.”
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I know I don’t tell her that I love her with all my heart often enough and like what I told Shan when he mentioned the same thing about his dad, I don’t wanna wait until its too late. I will tell her today, that I love her and that I’m so lucky and thankful to God for giving me a mummy like her. She’s the best-est friend ANY girl could ask for.
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I LOVE YOU, MUMMY!!
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More information on brain aneurysm :-
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*That is NOT a photo of my mum and me. But it looked really nice so I just had to add it in. :D*
Category: Daily Dose
Thursday, 28. July 2005
Hats off to your mum …. and to you too, for sharing this with us. *hugs*
Thursday, 28. July 2005
So chweeeet… i’d say both of u are one helluva women!!! U guys deserve each other in every way.. Pls hug mummy once for meeeeee…. and a hug for u too piggy .. .. Muaks!!
Luv u guys always
Thursday, 28. July 2005
*wipes away tears*
Wow… its not normal for me to read a blog and to feel so sad. sigh. i feel like telling my dad. i will do it after this. I have too. i dun wanna regret it. I don’t know what i’ll do if anythin bad happens to any one of my parents or sis.
im sure u’ll be a great mommy too Yvy, u learned from the best remember?
Friday, 29. July 2005
Ee? U saw my pic??
Oh, u mean the one on my website ar? =)
Btw, yea.. So many heros in our lives. Our parents are definitely included! =) And u revealed ur age! hehehe..
Friday, 29. July 2005
Haha.. Erm, I mean the turtletotty main site.
Friday, 29. July 2005
Sometimes we can’t recognise our real heros until tragedy strikes.
Friday, 29. July 2005
metria : thanks metria!
i really admire single mums because they are VERY strong. they have no choice but it is VERY good personal growth. 
but must keep trying.
anon : u’re NOT anonymous to me….!! hehehe….thanks piggy, love u too!
shan : well, i’m glad it touched ur heart. anyway, i didnt tell mum i love her last nite – same thing happened to me as happened to u. only difference was that i couldnt make myself do it. its really not easy, i know that for a fact.
sonia : ya lar!! ;p
BJ : well, i guess so but need to change mindset.
Friday, 29. July 2005
‘She took up the role of father AND mother and is still doing a GREAT job at it.’
my dad too was both my mother and father after my mum passed away!…
very touching entry yvy..got me thinking about my mum…
Friday, 29. July 2005
ling wei :
thanks! it normally is when u really write from the heart. 
Friday, 29. July 2005
misty, you made me cry. Like what I commented in Lilian’s blog, when it really comes down to it, I think most of us can find some hidden resource and strength within us to be strong for those we love. *Hugs*. Your mum sounds like an incredible lady.
Friday, 29. July 2005
MG : well, i was on the verge of tearing too writing that out. remembering back those moments really brings back sad memories.
i have to admit that single parents are either VERY strong or give up easily. there is no in between. n i guess me n ling are the lucky ones. we have STRONG a parent.
Friday, 29. July 2005
Yvy, hehe… i eventually DID not tell him yesterday nite. dunno how la so i did the next best thing. i SMS’d him what i been wanting to say this morning. well i hope this starts of a better rship wit my dad. i don’t like it the way it is anyways.
And like wat Balajoe said, i think its very true cos we always take it for granted that everything will be ok. Single parents are wonderful beings. I respect them!!! *hail*
Friday, 29. July 2005
shan: good move shan!! it’s definitely a start n i hope things will change for the better. now…if only my mum knows HOW to check sms…..*shakes head*
Saturday, 30. July 2005
hehe… yea i jus thought its better to be put in words. kinda weird jus goin to my dad and sayin things like that. hehe… luckily la my dad can sms. if not? oh no…. :S
Saturday, 30. July 2005
shan : i think i know what i should do…..write her a letter n leave on her pillow or something before rushing off to work. YAR….that’s a good idea too.
ppl love internal snail mail too, right>? 