When I started working again at my old office [where I am at now], it was good to get in touch with my vendors and some of whom have become personal friends of mine over the course of 2.5 years I was with this company. Just before Chris went on maternity, Joey dropped by to say hello and we started chatting about life down under and how much life has changed since we found out about Kecik.
As we chatted about this and that, she stopped midway and told me that I talk ‘different’ these days and that I have ‘changed’. I didn’t really understand what she meant until she said that perhaps its due to the pregnancy that my outlook and view of things have changed and stuff I talk about has also changed.
Then I realized what she meant. Looking back at our conversation, I remember talking to her about the future…how important education is and how tough it is bringing kids up with the cost of almost everything going up [except our salary of course]. I also told her that everything about ‘me’ has taken a back seat and now, everything I do has got something to do with Kecik ie planning for an education fund, thinking of whether I should be a SAHM or continue working, planning our future vacations so that Kecik will be close to both paternal and maternal grandparents and of course, or financial stability so that we can live comfortably.
When I sit back and reminisce on the things that I think about these days, I amaze myself because part of me cannot believe that I’m thinking of such ‘matured’ issues. I never thought that I’d have to face it and never really knew when I would face it. But most of all, I used to think that I couldn’t handle it and would not be prepared for it, if it ever happened. However, I seem to be able to absorb all this ‘commotion’ with surprising ease and calmness. I’m not sure how well I’m handling it or if I’m even handling it properly but things seems to be flowing in a rather proportionate speed and I don’t feel as if I’m being swept away by some powerful current, nor do I feel as if I’m drowning in an abyss of helplessness. Perhaps I’m too laidback and the happy-go-lucky kind to allow too many thing to crowd my mind and emotion. Perhaps it’s the take-it-one-day-at-a-time character in me that is helping me cope with all these new changes. Or maybe I just have not reached that ‘dangerous’ level of realization that things are going to become very, very different in just a mere few months.
Heck, you know what…I’m not going to worry myself silly yet. I’ll worry when I need to worry or if I need to….but for now, I’m happy and contented. *Breathes in the wonderful aroma of a huge glass of teh tarik in front of me now and sighs blissfully*
by visithra, on April 27 2007 @ 5:53 pm
by Vien, on April 28 2007 @ 2:37 am
Someone once told me, when it comes, we’ll know how to adapt and get used to it. You’re easing well into parenthood.
by Aida, on April 28 2007 @ 3:01 am
i tell you the pregnancy hormones seem to be sucking us in. i was the happy party single girl, next thing i know i got married. though die lah no freedom but fortunately freedom uninterrupted, but no flirting lah. 1 year later, come out small human being that we are 100% responsible for. dont want to scare you ler but think it’s bad now, try when you the munchkin come out….i think dont make plans to until the bebe come out and i am sure you dont want to go back to work at least till the bugger start talking.
by wuching, on April 28 2007 @ 6:35 pm
yalor. why worry so much? in ostalia everything provided for kecik wan!
by Balajoe, on April 28 2007 @ 11:18 pm
Welcome to the club…when my “kecik” came, my world turned upside down but for the better, of course. Now whatever I think of the future, the priority always goes for my kecik. It is for the same reason that I did not think twice when I was told that I am being assigned to Kabul for almost 2 months.
As time goes on, you will learn alot of things on parenthood that you will be able to advise others. So, rilex and enjoy the ride.
by cindy, on April 29 2007 @ 4:36 am
I haven’t changed yet, so far I’m still planning everything for me, me and me. Vacation fund, candy fund, shopping fund… :nerd:
..I have a strong feeling that I might become like you when I have my own Kecik.
by anjali*, on April 29 2007 @ 12:26 pm
You being laidback has everything to do with you being in Oz now…and partly motherhood too.
by Yvy, on April 30 2007 @ 11:20 am
anj : dont know lar….maybe i’m laidback because i can still afford too now. :smug:
cindy : still young wad…..plus no family commitments yet…BUT it will come sooner or later. :tongue: after all, i was once like u mar.
bj : haha! wise word from the wise eh? :tongue: but it will with appreciation that i accept it. i’s going to be quite a fun ride eh?
wuching : aiyooo…where got EVERYTHING wan? you know the hospital fees how much??? can die standing lor!!! gomen rebate oso not enough lor!!!
aida : i know how reality is going to hit me….its going to hit me bad!! lol lucky i am not facing this alone. thats why i have a LOT of respect for single mothers. they are indeed truly blessed as they have to face all the hardship alone - those who have faily support are very lucky, dont u think?
vien : yes, been told n have heard those wise words as well. in fact, that was how i handled things when we first got married. i dont think there is ever a ‘right’ time to get married or have kids. if n when it happens, i think that at humans, we learn to deal with it. part n parcel of our lifecycle i guess.
visi : U have NO idea woman….. :silly: