The grass is always green on my side.

A good reason to bang your head on the table!

This is the REAL reason why I pity people who are working in the Customer Service line. Boleh mati wor!!!!

 

Below given are True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the World…..

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

 

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it’s really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note …
Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry .

 

Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?

 

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male Customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and …
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me ! I’m not Bill Gates damn it !

 

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

 

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.

 

Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

 

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It’s not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening.

 

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work !

 

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

 

A customer couldn’t get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.

 

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

 

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

 

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

 

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?

25 Comments so far »

  1. by Philip, on November 6 2007 @ 9:14 pm

     

    Usually happen the other way, customers bang their head talking to helpdesk. Happened to me many times. My head got one permanent ‘bonjol’.

  2. by pelf, on November 6 2007 @ 10:32 pm

     

    DANG! This is good!

    My favourites are these:

    A customer couldn’t get on the internet.
    Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
    Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
    Customer: Five stars.

    and

    Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

  3. by Charles Atlas Sheppard, on November 7 2007 @ 4:30 am

     

    A small country school in a very small town got a new computer room with twenty brand new computers. They appointed the phys. ed. teacher as the computer teacher and he asked me to come teach a class on how to use the internet.

    When I arrived he asked me if I brought the internet with me because he couldn’t get his started.

  4. by Aida, on November 7 2007 @ 7:31 am

     

    OMG, i had my fair share of “idiots” when i had a short work stint. some of it;

    me - i need you to click on the “start” button on the bottom left hand corner of the screen.
    customer - what is the start button, and on what screen?
    me - on your computer screen
    **can imagine how much i want to strangle that person.

    another one:
    customer - my computer screen is blank, i can’t see anything.
    me - is the little light on the computer screen green or orange or blinking green?
    customer - its orange.
    me - plug in your computer, it should solve the problem.
    customer - ohh sorry, my computer is not plugged it yet
    *so i want to cabut my hair or what!!

    and sometimes we get ppl with very thick accent that its hard to understand them, its so frustrating.

  5. by bluefrogx, on November 7 2007 @ 1:52 pm

     

    Here are a few more of my favorites.

    Tech: Internet Tech Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your username please?

    Customer: Yes, I am having problem installing your software. I can put in the first disk and it runs fine. Then it ask for the second disk, but I can’t get it to accept disk 2.

    Tech: Are you getting an error message?

    Customer: No, I just can’t get the second disk in the drive. It won’t fit.

    Tech: The disk won’t fit in the drive??

    Customer: Yes. The first one goes right in, but the second disk won’t fit.

    Tech: Internet Tech Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your user name please?

    Customer: Yes I was trying to chat on the Internet, and all I keep getting are a bunch of URL addresses.

    Tech: What program are you using to chat with?

    Customer: Netscape

    Tech: And what is the web address where you are trying to chat?

    Customer: http://www.yahoo.com

    Tech: Your trying to chat on Yahoo?

    Customer: Yes. I typed hello in the little box and pressed enter, but it just brings up another page with all these web addresses.

    Probably more but that’s all I can remember off the top of my head :P

  6. by Yvy, on November 7 2007 @ 7:05 pm

     

    pelf & frogx : hahaha!! gosh….that’s really bad but i guess ppl who dont know how to, are like this!

    aida : o god!!! really pity u la - amazing u are still sane! but i know what u mean coz i have such a heahache when someone from the country side talks to me. the pelat/accent so thick!

    charles : hahaha! i got no comments for that…

    philip : I know what u mean but still i think the techie ppl are worst off. :’)

  7. by Urban Writ, on November 7 2007 @ 8:24 pm

     

    I bet these are recent incidents too.
    You’d think most of the world would be keen on computers by now.

  8. by rav, on November 7 2007 @ 9:20 pm

     

    haha… its fun to read all those.. but this is only one side of the coin.. something the helpdesk ppl are more wierd.. the other day I read somewhere which said:

    customer: How do I find the mac address of my computer.

    helpdesk: Better contact Apple for this.. :)

  9. by Olesya Petrova, on November 7 2007 @ 10:39 pm

     

    hahaha… so great! I like this one :
    “I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
    computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !”
    Really great! Thanx :D

  10. by Pete White, on November 8 2007 @ 12:26 am

     

    haha some really good ones, i’ve heard some silly things in my job but nothing like some of them.

  11. by Jenny, on November 8 2007 @ 12:51 am

     

    Haha I feel so bad for those people now. Customer service can be a real bitch. Which is why you’ll never find me doing that kind of job. LOL

  12. by Sweetest Sin, on November 8 2007 @ 3:05 pm

     

    O well, CS can be a pain either way! If you’re CS then sometimes you get stupid customers or customers who are not appreciative of what u do for them. Then as customers, sometimes you get CD from a foreign country n can hardly understand them!! SO who’s to blame??

  13. by Joy, on November 10 2007 @ 1:32 am

     

    lol..this is hilarious..thanks for the laughs Sweetest Sin..^^

  14. by Koninin, on November 10 2007 @ 8:15 am

     

    With all due respect, why do you work in customer service if you don’t like customers? People ring you up because they are frustrated.

    So you are frustrated too! Try this.

    90% of work communication is about facts and figures. Ask questions to find out if YOU understand what the other person wants. Simply restating the request can be enough to get a panicky or indignant No! OK question worthwhile. I had the wrong end of the stick. Keep asking.

    7% of people want help but present their request like a question. I miss this one a lot. What they want to know is that their helplessness is not unusual or unreasonable. So they are newbies. So they are in a hurry and got confused. So what? Haven’t you been there too. Don’t try to take over. It is easy when you know lots (or are a know-it-all)(that is why I miss this one a lot.) Say something to acknowledge their bewilderment and they will probably move along and finish the job themselves.

    3% of people are just plain angry. P….ed is what Americans, call it, I believe. So?! Haven’t you been there? Just acknowledge their anger. Is that so hard to ask? Do you really believe that you and your company do such a great job that nothing ever goes wrong and you inconvenience nobody. Just listen. Just hear them out. You aren’t agreeing., you are listening. (And the great secret is that they calm down, say thank you, and WHEN they are calm, you say look at your screen, can you see it? Look at the bottom left. Can you see the word Start? Right grab your mouse? That round thing. Move it around. Can you see the arrow moving? Great. Can you try moving the arrow to the start button. Get the arrow on the start button. Curse Swear. Come on, do it for me. Gales of laughter. You have a friend for life.
    (And remind them to send you a six pack for Xmas! or whatever for Eid or Diwali or whatever).

    Hey, we wouldn’t have jobs (I am a university lecturer) if everyone knew what they were doing.

    And as for wordpress, right below this line I am typing is the command! Post your comments. And it comes back with an error message, where is your email address? I have to use the green return arrow, scroll through post and find it up there somewhere. Now don’t you expect people to get irritated? You don’t like it when they do that to you. And what is little cozy corner home? Who knows.? Lets play treasure hunt and find the email address place.

  15. by Yvy, on November 10 2007 @ 8:50 am

     

    joy : glad u liked that little pick me up….i know i did.

    koninin : 1st, tq for ur long novel of a comment. what u say may have truth but BECAUSE i used to be in CS i know what it’s like, n THAT’S why i left. you may have the patience to take on 1m yabe 5 calls as u mentioned….by trying taking those kinds of calls for 8 blasting hours…ok, 7 hours minus lunch. out of that 7hours, i can honestly tell u that the number of ppl who are calm n polite to say the least, is less than a handful. you’re lucky if you get a sane customer. why? because ppl who call up are always the ppl who are having trouble n so yes, they are angry but does that make it ok for them to me us verbal punching bags? because i’ve been in their shoes, no matter how angry i am, i always try to remember what it’s like being a verbal punching bag, hence, i always try to keep my cool….but that said, i will admit that i have flew off the handle a few times n that was because of my net connection. what can i say, i’m fussy like that coz it’s my money. so all in all, i honestly think that both sides have their share of the ‘pain’. geez….now I write a novel of a comment!! :P

  16. by Computer for dummies….. « In my mind, on November 11 2007 @ 7:55 am

     

    […] for dummies….. 10Nov07 I was browsing online and came across this post on the blog “Little Cozy Corner….. It is about telephone conversations recorded from […]

  17. by Victor, on November 11 2007 @ 8:38 am

     

    This is a shout out to all technical support people out there. Those who have not been there do not understand what you’re going through [can be said about many professions, but technical support is a league of its own].
    Keep hanging in there, folks, and try to keep a cool, clear head :).

    Me: “Please send a screen shot of the error message that comes up when the problem occurs so that I can further diagnose this problem.”
    Reply: A 6 megabyte e-mail attachment with a -digital photo- of the computer screen and the error message displayed on same.
    There followed 15 minutes of soul cleansing laughter.

    I’m getting too old for that gig though.

  18. by Lukep, on November 11 2007 @ 10:30 am

     

    These are great. I always like reading about these experiences. Funny stuff.

  19. by Little Tike - TheToyZone, on November 14 2007 @ 3:03 am

     

    Great fun! I would hate a job in customer services.

  20. by anonymous, on November 17 2007 @ 5:32 pm

     

    its sorta different but i remeber once my indonesian teacher was on the computer and asked me to help her. and i told her to double click that icon and she left and right clicks it a few times and goes “what is double-click!?!?!” i laughed so hard

  21. by charlie, on November 25 2007 @ 2:01 am

     

    OMG! This is so funny and I have a funny one 2.
    My gran was on the phone to BT because the internet wouldn’t connect, this is what happened…

    Gran: Hi, my Internet won’t connect.

    Tech Support: Right, now before we start we have to close all your open windows.
    Gran: Oh, I don’t keep any windows open at this time of the year it’s too cold for that.

    All I can say is LOL.

  22. by Yvy, on November 25 2007 @ 5:12 pm

     

    charlie : haha! that is genuine n funny indeed. :)

  23. by JJ, on November 28 2007 @ 3:55 am

     

    classic cases of pebkac. Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

  24. by Welcome to Daniel’s Blog! » Blog Archive » don’t bang your head, on December 4 2007 @ 2:08 pm

     

    […] http://www.mistyeiz.com/2007/11/06/a-good-reason-to-bang-your-head-on-the-table/ is all about living it, loving it, with humour and some crass. Most often that not you will find many ways and opportunities to make money online, and just about anything that comes to the mind. Many people dare to think but not many dare to say it out. http://www.mistyeiz.com will do just that, think, talk and laugh. […]

  25. by Look What I Stumbled Upon at 7 Babes a Blogging, on December 4 2007 @ 11:24 pm

     

    […] Ever wonder why Help Desk Tech’s are so grumpy? Well, stop wondering, the answer has been revealed. […]

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About Author

A daughter, sister, wife, mother and a good friend if you are one too. Nerdy on the outside, kinky on the inside. Has a soft spot for animals and a craze for body art. Stays connected to the rest of the world by blogging, snail mailing to selected friends and postcard swapping.