Little Cozy Corner

I normally don’t post forwarded stuff unless I think it’s really something that I think is awesome. Seeing that my spiritual life has taken a turn for the worst as in I’ve not been as prayerful as I should be seeing that I’ve been blessed in abundance, this email was a rather painful slap to the face. I reckon that it’s a wake up call for me. And if this wakes you up too, good for you! Thanks Kesh.

A letter from Jesus

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer. It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me.

As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these  times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration.

Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don’t know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in my  honor. The dinner table was full  of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn’t invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn’t remember to send me an invitation.

The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .. and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In  truth, that didn’t surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn’t invited, I decided to enter the party without making any  noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a  grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa  and all the children ran to him, saying: “Santa Claus, Santa Claus” as if the party were in his honor!

At midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and do you know no-one hugged me. Suddenly they all  began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What  would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember the gifts, the parties, to eat and drink, and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me  to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to  save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn’t invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a  spectacular party. I’m still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to  attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book.

Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party.

Those who don’t answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon. I Love you!

Jesus

This is the REAL reason why I pity people who are working in the Customer Service line. Boleh mati wor!!!!

Below given are True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the World…..

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it’s really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note …
Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry .

Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male Customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and …
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me ! I’m not Bill Gates damn it !

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.

Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It’s not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work !

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn’t get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern “seat covers” (invented by someone’s Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn’t - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume “The Stance.”

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold “The Stance.”

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, “Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse top ple backward against the tank of the toilet. “Occupied!” you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if yo u had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public to inlet seat because, frankly, dear, “You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.”

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can’t figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, “Here, you just might need this.”

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men’s restroom. Annoyed, he asks, “What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?”

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deals with a public restrooms (rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

I couldn’t agree more!!! A big thank u to lil’ sis for this…..simply hilarious but OH so true.

“By the time the Lord made woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart- and she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her too soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”

The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY OFTEN FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Wow!! A powerful piece there….I’m glad I’m a woman. But seriously, when I read this piece the first person that came to mind was my mummy, of course. Then I thought of Lilian and JoMel.

Being Johorean, I had to check this out when I saw it on Friendster. I can relate to most of it but seeing that there are a few I can’t, does it mean I ain’t true blue?? O well, if you’re Johorean too, holler at me!

1. They end 9 out of 10 sentences with Ekkk…
Ekk ialah trademark orang Johor. Digunakan di hujung SETIAP ayat menggantikan tanda soal(question mark). Contoh :- Ni awak punyer ekk? Nama awak saper ekk ? Kenapa kite kaler tak cantik ekk ?

2. They refer to Johor Bahru as Johor and not JB.
Kalau orang di negeri Johor sebut Johor, it means Johor Bahru (JB), the city not the state. Normally used by mereka yang tinggal di luar bandar Johor Baru seperti di Masai-chusettes umpamanya. Contoh : Beb, gua nak turun Johor laa. Lu nak ikut
gua tak? So, if you ARE already in Johor, tak kira di daerah mana - if the locals kata nak pergi Johor, it means nak ke Johor Bahru. Jangan pulak buat lawak bongok** berkata, ” Eh, lu kan dah ada kat Johor?” Or worse, jangan memandai nak tambah
ekk with that question.

3. They pronounce Muar as MUOR. (kena juih bibir sikit)
In fact you pronounce everything that ends with “AR” as “OR”. Contoh : Aku kena pakai seluor besor untuk main bolor kat Muor besok. (Aku kena pakai seluar besar nak main bola di Muar besok). Lapo (lapar), penampor (penampar), ulor (ular), pagor (pagar) dan lain-lain.

4. They are brash with a CRAZY sense of humour.
Honestly, I haven’t met Johorean yang serious or square to a T. Or cannot take a joke. Walaupun pendiam atau pemalu , but  their sense of humour boleh tahan gak. Almost all of them yang aku jumpa dan kenal lah) are either loyar buruk or bigor. Baik di kampung mahu di Bandar. The sense of humour is unique that I find sometimes orang luar (non-Johorean) agak takut with the brashness of budak-budak Johor.

5. Diorang ada ENDUT **. [No idea what the heck this means!!]
Kalau tak pernah berendut, sure pernah ada endut or busuk-busuk pun teringin nak ada endut. Contoh ayat : Haa…kau dah ada endut yer? Kau pergi berendut kat mana ? Orang berendut dia pun nak berendut.

6. Diorang Makan Gula Tarik, Sagun, Gula Kandy, Bobotok…. [Not familiar with this one either]
Dah lama aku tak tengok atau makan gula tarik, sagun or candy. Ada lagi ke bebenda ni kat Johor? Gula tarik ader lagi kat Stesen bas Larkin..

7. Pernah (or berangan nak) jadi Mat Rock.
Aku rasa sebab kedudukan Johor dekat dengan Singapore, sebab itulah pengaruh Barat di Malaysia masuk melalui Johor dulu. Itu
teori aku lah. But kalau ikutkan sejarah Johor, Sultan yang mula-mula kawin dengan Mat Salleh pun Sultan Johor (Almarhum). So, tak heranlah kalau kmpln Rock kat Malaysia ini semua ada susur galur dari Johor. Amy, Zainal Abidin, Nash etc. Boleh pakai ke  teori aku ni? Jangan aku kena pancung dengan Sultan,dah ler.Ampun Tuanku!

8. Kenduri Kawin Ada Telur Pindang
Telur pindang ialah telur ayam yang direbus dgn segala macam rempah dan dedaun untuk m’dptkan that special taste. Lepas rebus,telur akan berwarna cokelat. Both kulit dan isi. Kinda nice..Normally it’s for special occasion, like wedding day.

9. Tidur atas LECA** (rhyme with letak and baca, the non-baku way).
Baju simpan dalam GEROBOK **. Ambik GEBOR tu.

10. They never watch RTM sebab semua cerita dah tengok kat Channel Singapore! [I totally agree!]
When I was growing up, aku cukup suka tengok TV Singapore sebab iklan dia semua dari overseas, very menarik. Besides the cerita yang terkinilah. Well, TV Singapore cuma dapat ditengok oleh penduduk JB dan kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. As you go further up north (of Johor), you can see aerial TV semua setinggi pokok kelapa - semata-mata nak dapatkan siaran from Singapore!

It would be safe to say that I ain’t the only ‘cruel’ pet owner who dresses up their pets and sometimes I really think, ‘Is it necessary?’. In our eyes, our pets looks SO cute in all those get-ups we forced them to wear and parade in town in. Can you imagine how humiliating it must be for them when they bump into other pups in town dressed like a fairy princess or Yoda?? Gawd, if I were to put myself in their place, I really wouldn’t know where to hide my face!!

God gave dogs such nice and pretty coats hence, we don’t really need to dress them up no matter how ugly they maybe. Heck this dog, Elwood won 2007’s ugliest dog in the world and he only has a collar on! No fancy-smancy costumes to make him better looking, not that it would help BUT still….let’s just leave our pets as they are la. Kesian only….but if its cold or chilly, then I’m sure a nice warm fleece coat would be most appreciated.

Ps. I guess I just realise that they don’t even NEED a sweater or coat as the 2nd last pooched just made that QUITE clear!