I actually have a toddler at my feet as I’m typing this out. KR woke up an hour earlier from her arvo nap and I guess she’s just enjoying some time by herself not having to fight over every single toy in sight. I reckon its a nice change for her. After all, she looks and sounds happy from where I’m sitting!

These days (as I’m growing bigger with JR), everything seems to be a juggle for me. I can hardly find any ME time and everything I do seems to revolve around the kids, if not, housework/cleaning/cooking. Such is the life of a SAHM and for most times, I wouldn’t really be complaining. Seeing that I’ve been both a SAHM and a working mum, I know what it’s like living both kinds of life. While I love working and having time away from screaming/whinging kids, I cannot help but admit that I did miss them loads while at work. You sort of miss the laughter and the giggles mostly but what you experience is actually more of the crying and whinging of course! lol

So what is life as a SAHM? Please don’t think it’s all just sitting around and doing nothing. Unless you have a maid at your beck and call, it ain’t a bed of roses at all! You pretty much handle everything from the moment you open your eyes till you lay your head down to sleep. I am not so fortunate as some of my friends/relatives who are SAHM and have maids to help out. For me, it’s all me, myself and I. So I do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning & ironing (I hardly do these coz I hate them both with a passion – I avoid whenever I can), I try to stay sane when the kids try to kills themselves and of course, to help me keep sane, I sew. It’s a lot on my plate but this is merely the tip of the iceberg. Soon JR will be here and it will be 3x the trouble! lol A friend said that she can hardly cope with her 10 months old and she thinks I’m a super woman being able to handle 2 toddlers and another baby on the way. I am modest and always say that I’m not the only woman with 3 under 4 but more so, I think I was merely insane or at least I can plead temporary insanity when we conceived JR. lol But now that the deed is done, there is no turning back but more importantly, there are no regrets. It’s always a gift from God when one is blessed with a child. I always remind myself that there are millions of women out there who want a child but cannot conceive hence I should always be thankful for what He has given us. Plus, He wouldn’t have allowed this to happen if He knew we couldn’t handle it. So if He has confidence in us, then I reckon it’s only right that we put our trust in Him. After all, He’s got it all planned out for us.

And as a working mum, I was blessed in that Ted was home during this period. While I was merely on assignment work (just a few months), he was able to adjust his work shifts to suit mine hence he stayed back with the kids and became a SAHD (Stay At Home Dad). I can honestly say that he really enjoyed it and given the choice, he would gladly stay home. He pretty much did everything I was doing when I was at home which meant that when I came home, dinner was (most of the time) ready and dishes were washed up after and he cleaned the house – more than I ever did anyway! And I actually enjoyed this time away from the kids because I didn’t have to face the ‘music’ all day, everyday. I had the freedom to blog (when I had the time of course) and actually read some books (during lunch breaks and on the bus). It was good to bring some of the bacon home and to know that you amounted to something at the end of the day. I always feel more empowered and independant when I’m working and bringing in the money. It makes me feel more financially stable and well, all in all, I don’t feel like I’m wholely dependant on Ted, financially. Hence I’m glad to a certain degree that I have something to do (which I enjoy doing) that help bring in a little bit of spending money for myself. Thank goodness I’m not a shopperholic! Just a tad bit nutty when it comes to fabric. LOL

So while I try to continue this crazy juggle of what my life encompasses, I may whine and bitch (most of the time in silence) about how sometimes life is just so unfair or how I wished I had more of everything (except kids of course), I always remind myself that I must be thankful that I have a roof above my head, food on the table everyday and a warm bed (and body) to come to every night. Mostly, I must be thankful that I met and married a good provider and father, Ted. It may just be the simple things in life, but they are the most important. At least to me.

We are into the terrible 3s with Arianna these days. And I personally have had ALL my buttons pushed to the extreme by this cheeky child of mine that it’s not funny anymore. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong or what I should be doing to change her behaviour. Perhaps sending her to a Boarding School is not such a bad idea. Although I don’t know anyone who has attended boarding school before, Ted is of the opinion that it may well do her some good.

Ok, perhaps we are thinking too much into it but I reckon it wouldn’t hurt to see what options we have. We’ve thought about homeschooling as well, but we haven’t decided for sure if that is definitely the path to take for us. After all, one has to have the discipline to follow through and I’m not too sure if I’m cut out for that. Then of course you’ve got the option of the public schools as well and that is divided into the Girls school and the Boys School. I came from a co-ed school so I don’t really know how much different it would be but I guess if the girls were to go to the girls school, then I guess our little man would be going to a boys school. But again, it is far to early now to decide for sure but we definitely have our cards on the table. We just have to think it through properly. Geez, you’d think that getting a proper education for your kid would be easy, but I guess from this, I think not!

Crikey, time really flies when you’re not paying attention! Easter is just days away and I still remember trying to figure out what I’d abstain from for Lent and ended up not abstaining at all. I know, that’s really bad BUT I have been rather diligent in filling up my little Lent Compassion box with change which will go to the poor, so I’ve done a rather little something.

Unlike in Malaysia, we go on a SUPER long holiday starting Friday (being Good Friday) right up till Monday (Sunday being Easter, a public holiday so we get Monday off). It is a long break compared to your normal Saturday-Sunday weekend and everyone is looking forward to it. As for me, Thursday marks my last day at work. Part of me feels a little sad at leaving but another of me is glad coz then I get to spend more time at home, which I really like coz I can SEW!

Also, I’ve really sick and tired of handling all these ‘problemed’ kids. I’ve really had it up to here (pointing to my neck) with them and I’m quite happy to see the back of them too. That said, I have actually mentioned to my agent* that I am still open to short term position if she has any and wouldn’t mind doing some up till early May if necessary. Would be excellent if I do get another job paying the same amount!! This is however, unlikely unless the company is willing to match the hourly rates of course.

In any case, I am looking forward to that break and well, have to be honest, I’m busy making some baby stuff for my best friend! She’s having her baby in September….22/9 to be exact which *ahem* happens to be my birthday as well!!!! I told her that by hook or by crook, she’ll have to keep her legs crossed untill the 22nd and not have the baby any earlier OR later! *lol*

*Agent = Lots of people get jobs through agencies as they are somewhat alike to outsourcing companies in Malaysia. People hardly write in directly to the company for job applications here coz going through an agent just makes paperwork easier for them.

Having just experience what it will be like having a heated conversation with a teenager, I’m already dreading the times when I’ll have to face this with the girls. It’s simply unavoidable and more so since we are living here and somehow, it’s a norm for children to voice out their opinions.

I can’t remember the times when I actually voiced out my disapproval or grief or even anger while I was growing up at home. Heck, I don’t think I EVER did it. It was not something that a good kid (by Malaysian standards in my humble opinion) would do if they were brought up properly by their parents. If you get reprimanded, you took it in, digested it and just suck it in. Parents are always right and you were taught to listen and follow what they tell you to do.

I highly doubt that ever happens over here. Here even toddlers speak their mind and if they get upset, they are encouraged to show it and express themselves. While I approve that it is a wise move to allow your children to express themselves, they must know the difference between expressing themselves and being rude. There is a super fine line especially when anger and getting upset is involved. And more often than not, it just escalates into a full blown tantrum or arguments. I’ve seen it all too often with my own eyes to doubt it so you can understand me getting worried. Heck, all this worrying seems an excellent reason to increase my life insurance rate. More so since it’s paired with teenage girls! :/

I still remember one time during lunch a colleague was talking about the issues she was having with her teenage daughter who’s about 15 years old. She’s constantly telling the kid, ‘No, you are not wearing that out to dinner – it’s too short’ or ‘No, that’s not appropriate to wear out. Go change.’, etc….and how that would follow with a lot of whinging and whining, and door slams. And here I am thinking, I’ve got 2 girls – I’m in deep crap.

Ted told me a sickening piece of news this morning. Some sex-crazed man has been going around our suburb grabbing the breasts of unsuspecting women in broad daylight! How icky is that??? Then I read this.

I’m surprised after 4 assaults he hasn’t been caught yet. Ted told me if I saw any Indian man walking around to run up to him and punch him in the throat and kick him in the groin. While it does sound silly, I may have to do just that if I am faced with this maniac. However, all the women who were assaulted were just too shock to do anything which I think it the reason why he’s gotten away all this time.

Makes you wonder what sort of kick he gets of it doing such a sickening act. For a mere few seconds of a grab, he may well be in serious trouble when caught which I hope will be soon. I mean this is happening at 2pm in the arvo, someone would have seen something, you know? Not to pour oil on the burning fire, but Indians in general have been part of the daily news recently with the accidental death of a toddler just weeks ago and prior to that, bashings and fighting done to Indian students. I don’t understand it, I mean anyone with half a brain wouldn’t even think of pulling a stunt like this. And yet, here’s our ‘hero’ carrying on like this. *shakes head*

In Malaysia, we have a saying, ‘sepandai tupai melompat, akhirnya akan jatuh ke tanah juga’, which literally translated simply means no matter how good a squirrel can jump from one branch to another, there will come a day that he will miss his step and fall to the ground. And I foresee this definitely happening, but if only it was sooner and not later.

I’m super pissed off today. Not at work but at the kids at my college. Grrrrr….. :/ Part of my job is to monitor the games that kids get to play with ie. The snooker table and ping pong table. In order to play, one has to be a member of the Student Association which most of them are but when some aren’t, they beg and beg and plead that just to get them off my back. I give in.

But there is this bunch of boys and one in particular that I absolutely HATE with a passion is this chinese fella who thinks very greatly of himself. He’s very rude, has no manner, and acts tough and aggressive….just like your typical Chinese gangster. I pity his parents who have to live with a son who is such a sod like that. Anyway, they have taken the ping pong bats and not returned them. They actually pretty much stole it from me coz the previous students who had them, had the decency to leave it on the counter for me since I was out to lunch. And I bet those buggers actually took it off the counter without leaving me their student cards. So now, I have nothing to hold them again what they have done and after me telling them just now to make sure to return the bats to me, they still left with them!!!!
So infuriating coz with the bats gone, other students have nothing to play with which it totally unfair to them, you know? I’m so pissed off I wished I could load up that machine that spits out tennis balls for practice and replace them with used golf balls, then line him up right in front of it and I let that machine do its thing. O, what a wonderful day that would be!!! But tis’ all in my imagination…. I don’t really know what to do coz you never know with these kids, especially problem kids like him.

He might just lash out at me or whack me up, who knows….right? *sigh* Such is life…. :/