Little Cozy Corner

I know many of you have been reading about the floods in NSW. But I just wanted to put you all at ease and announce that Ted and I have not been affected at all. The areas affected are more towards the Hunter Valley region but the flood threats have been subsiding so that’s a good thing.

Although I have an aunty staying out there, I was pleased to hear that she and her family are on the right side of town so they too, weren’t affected although the rain’s been quite a pain. Funny how we’ve been praying for rain so much and then we actually get it but in such abundance that it’s caused a flood! ‘Feast or famine’ as my MIL loves to say.

Today has been the coldest since I arrived. Funnily, it’s colder IN my house than outside….no thanks to the fact that we have yet to purchase a heater which I really need if I intend to feel my fingers again. I guess this is a good reason to get out of the house and take a walk to the supermarket and take in some sun. Although it’s butt freezing here, the sun is shining….this is just so bizarre lar.

Anyway, I best get going before I have to send my Sis back as an ice block - her fingers are already frozen!!! Poor little vegemite….

Yes….I’m safely back ‘home’. It was a pleasant flight and the food was GOOD. I’ve become a loyal SIA customer now. Thanks to the sweet smiles and friendly faces…at least on this flight lar. Although it was a smooth flight, we were a tad bit late for take off from Singapore to Sydney due to some luggage problem. I hope it wasn’t my cot that caused it! Hahaha…

After getting scary warnings and how ‘eager’ some people wanted to see me on ‘Border Security’, what I experienced was nothing short of a miracle. REALLY. We had with us 2 backpacks, 1 hang carry luggage, 1 small suitcase filled with ALL the stuff which I plan to declare [spices, curry powder, Kluang coffee powder, Aik Cheong Kopi-O sachets, mango acar, self grinded chilli powder & a wooden Russian Matryoshka doll], 1 huge suitcase filled with clothes and a super huge box which was the cot. I had to collect it from the oversize luggage section. After we  cleared immigrations [Thank god for ours was an early flight, there was no queue.], we proceeded to collect out luggage and as usual, it came late. Then we went to get the cot and made our way to customs. Smarty pants me was prepared well ahead so I had packed all that was to be declared into one bag so that I wouldn’t have to open the other bags. Plus I knew that they would scan everything I owned so no point hiding anything.

Surprisingly, they didn’t even bother to scan our stuff, instead put us through to the declarations officer who went through my pink bag and as I explained what was what, he just nodded  and then asked me what was in the other bags. So I told him that everything that needed to be declared was in the pink bag and the rest was merely clothes AND he took my word for it!!! I still can’t believe that our stuff didn’t get scanned at all - bizarre. The only thing they confiscated was my cloves [bunga cengkih] since I had to have a permit to bring that in. So I was ok with it being taken - no problemo at all. They didn’t even fumigate my wooden doll!! I’m a little shocked none the less but am pleased that all was good. They didn’t know I brought in DVDs and VCDs and CDs either!! Bugger…should have brought more la. But then again, if I did, I might have had bad luck and they would have stopped me so I shouldn’t ask for too much I guess. :smug:

All in all, I’m glad I got to bring in everything without a hitch. Losing that packet of cloves was no biggie lar.

With regards to the flight, the only discomfort I had was the slight sore back. It was very uncomfy and I didn’t really get a good sleep on the plane which I normally do. I think it’s coz of Kecik so the minute we got home, all 3 of us too a long nap and woke up in time for hi-tea which was made up of enchiladas and Chinese. [Ted had Chinese of course!] Having the enchiladas was like the ultimate wake-up call that said, ‘Hey, you’re back in SYDNEY!!!’. O, not forgetting that the blardy cold was also a reminder that I was back in Sydney too - winter what! Didn’t help much since it was raining when we arrived, made it even more cold. I was frozen to the bones - my poor fingers and toes, couldn’t feel then at that point. Bah! Thankfully, my thoughtful MIL knitted me a pair of bed socks which I am utterly grateful for as they really kept my feet warm last night and a couple of beanies for me and Sis. So sweet lar she! :love: Anyway, due to that heavy tea, we had dinner really late. Ted whipped up a nice welcome home meal of noodles and chops. SO sweet of him lar…:love:

And today….it was a day spent in doors - it’s cold and it was drizzling just now so you can imagine lar. I know it ain’t as cold in Canada or the US during winter but I think this is enough for me. For me, this winter is good coz after delivery, I won’t really find it hard if I intend to follow the no-bathing pantang. Hehehehe….

Haiz….today, in about 14 hours from now, I will be on my way to the air port while my heart will be temporarily left behind in Kulim. I may even board the plane without my heart. It will most likely still be clinging on to whatever it can of Kulim.

I can’t believe that exactly 3 months have passed by just like that…..without me even realising it, and now, it is time for me to go ‘home’. Although my bags are almost 100% packed, I always feel that I’m forgetting something. Mind you, I’ve been slowly packing and unpacking my bag since last week and still, I feel that I may be leaving something behind. O wait….I know what it is. MY HEART!!!!

I know this may sound cruel and heartless, I honestly have not missed Ted that much or as much as I know I’m going to miss life in Kulim. I don’t think I need to explain it. Many out there can surely understand this situation and maybe you won’t. I’m excited about going home to see him but at the same time, it feels dreadful too. Why did God make human feelings so complex and difficult? :doh: For me, I hardly had the time to miss Ted because I was always occupied with doing my stuff here with family and friends. I always had someone to chat to even though it would be about nothing in particular. You don’t need to have a reason to sit and chat with Mum about the good ol’ times or share about some down moments in life because that it what you have in common with her. Plus the fact that I have a wonderful and open relationship with her, hence, talking about anything to her is a breeze!

And although Ted and I talk often, it’s just not the same. Chatting with him about my good ol’ times would be like me telling a story to him - Lord knows if he gets bored with it but sometimes, you just want to talk about stuff like that. To keep the memory alive, you know?

Everyone knows that being a Malaysian is all about loving food, in general but you know what? That is not what I would miss the most, although I know it’s going to be hard not to think and want and crave for that odd chee cheong fun, nasi lemak or even a plain chappati for that matter. What I’m going to miss most is spending time with Mum and Sis and traumatizing my 2 pups.

That’s going to be the hardest thing for me. For now, I’m consoled up to a certain degree coz Sis is coming with me to Sydney and the other moment I certainly am looking forward to is when Mum comes to see me in August when Kecik is due. She’ll be here for about a month. So this will certainly keep my spirits up for a bit. But after that…..:worried :crying:

So sad lar……

Today was my official first day being jobless. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not bogged down with the big bag packing session. I’m leaving for Sydney on 9 June 2007. And Lord knows when I’ll be back again. But when I do, it’ll be the 3 of us! :love: I still have a hand full of things to buy and man, do I hate packing!! But the thing I hate the most…..is leaving all that is familiar behind. However, at the same time, I’m looking forward to seeing Ted again coz I really do miss him. It’s such a tug of war within me and while chatting to Zona the other day, I couldn’t help but agree that is the transition which most of us who migrate over experience. Some can handle it well and others don’t. Me, I’m trying to take it one day at a time and most like taking it slow to adapt myself again after having the time of my life back home, here.

She asked me a good question though, ‘Where is home?’ and surprisingly, I found it hard to answer that for the most natural thing that came to mind was, home is where the heart is….but in my situation, my heart’s being torn in 2!! So how?? Being the happy-go-lucky, sweep-everything-under-carpet, live and let live kind, I don’t think about it at all. In fact, I don’t want to because the more I think about it, the tougher it is for me to carry on with life. It’s no use leaving your heart behind here and then mope about it and think about things here when life goes on, no matter what and where you’re at. At least this is what I’m psyhic-ing [?] myself with. It hasn’t been a smooth ride at all for me although I always put up a brave and accepting front about. It’s going to be tougher after this since I feel so good to be back in Kulim. Sometimes I don’t feel as if I want to go back to Sydney at all!!

Life is different there in almost all aspects, right from the kind of people I meet, their personalities, their characters, their way of life and of course, the culture. I think myself as someone who can adapt easily to any environment and since I believe in this, I make it happen. I’m thankful that I have Ted to rely and depend on, on many levels, especially emotionally. He is indeed my tower of strength and source of encouragement. I think I’ll be all blek without him, seriously!

O well, enough ranting, I’ve got to get back to my packing and get some rest too coz believe it or not, I had a horrid Sunday - I think had my first experience of Braxton Hicks!!! But I don’t think it is….in any case, takuk lor! Wrote about it in Kecik’s blog. If you can tell me if it is or not, do leave me a comment or 2. Need all the experience I can get.

I just finished reading her blog and I can’t help but feel a connection or understanding of what she is going through. I may not know for sure or exactly how she feels but I get the jist of it. If you’re wondering why I can relate to her most recently posts is simply because both of us came out to Sydney at about the same time for the same reason. Only difference is, I married Ted and she’s still building the bridge.

There seems to be a certain trend in  practically every conversation that I’ve had since I’ve come home, “How’s life in Sydney?”, “Wah, migrate to Sydney, sure best wan! Syiok or not stay there?” and of course, no conversation would be complete without a “Do you miss home?”. I personally feel people think that it’s a big deal when one moves/migrates to another country and I don’t deny the fact, it IS a huge deal. It certainly was for me. But somehow I get the feeling that when posed with questions such as the above-mentioned [to say the least], it’s from the view point of someone on vacation.

My answer is always and most of the time, the same thing, “Life is not too bad and I’m still getting used to it.” It’s certainly not too far from the truth and the truth is, it has not easy. Like Midnitelily, I felt the sense of ‘loneliness’ as well, not only from being away from the presence of friends and family but the whole feeling of community. 

I came to Australia knowing only Ted and my relatives. I had no friends to begin with, unlike May who had studied in Australia sometime ago. I believe it would be easier for her to pick up where she left off. I’m not too sure about Midnitelily but I think she and I are in the same boat, at least to a certain degree. My relatives live in New Castle which is a bit of a distance away and having lived the Aussie way for a long time, I think my aunt has also developed the same style of living, so visiting each other often is not a norm.

I only began to have friends when I started my job in Sydney, CBD [Central Business District I think] and even there, the clique culture exists. But I didn’t let that bother me and tried my best to develope friendships before my tenure was over and thankfully, I now have a handful of friends - ironically, we only keep in touch via email. However, the meaning of ‘friends’ in Australia differs vastly from what I would call friends back home.

Perhaps my expectation of friendships is too high but how to foster a relationship when everyone is their own person after 5.30pm? Everyone is chatty in the office and during lunch but the minute it’s 5.30pm, it’s like a switch is turned off and everyone is off on their own, doing their own thing. The trend I notice is that if you want to be in the group, you gotta hang out with the group. So what happens if you don’t like doing what the group does? That pretty much leaves you a choice of forcing yourself to join or simply not be in a group at all. That’s normally what happens to me. The ‘happening’ clique are the ones who go by the pub after work and grab a couple of beers and chill out. But I don’t like doing that coz it’s just not me also, money don’t grow on trees and it’s not like as if I’m making tonnes in the first place. It feels as if ‘friends’ get together only if there’s a party or a huge get-together. But back home, you don’t have to have a reason to lepak at the mamak stall. You don’t need a reason to just pop by and say hello. You don’t need a reason to meet up at all. 

During a recent conversation with my boss, he mentioned that it’s different over there because although they are friendly and they can chat you up anywhere and talk for hours on end but at the end of it all, you suddenly realise that despite all that talk, you don’t really know who that person is at all. It’s as if an invisible wall is there to barricade or to prevent you from getting to near or close to them. And that really hit me like a ton of bricks because it made me realise how true his words were!

I like Ted’s friends but I do note that they too, only gather occasionally particularly when there’s a party and although his friends are really friendly and we get along fine, there’s always something there which doesn’t feel right. I’ve tried being close to one of the wives because they live quite near to us but surprisingly, I get along better with the hubby rather than the wife!! *sigh* And the wife whom I actually like hanging out with and seems to be more friendly than the rest, lives too far away. *double sigh*

I guess people back there are more private and prefer to lead solitary lives but that’s just me and my opinion. I’m glad to a certain extend that I am not going through exactly what Midnitelily is going through coz it’s for sure ain’t a fun ride. And having Kecik coming along soon will certainly be a big bonus for me coz it’s definitely going to keep me busy and by then, I wouldn’t have to bother nor worry about other people. And at that point, I think I’ll be like the rest of the people around me too - absorbed in my own happy little world! *Aiyaiyai…..*